. . . Getting married has often been said to be going "out of fashion", but the official figures show that over ninety percent of people in Britain "do" get married. For the purpose of this article we will assume that you have already made the decision to "take the plunge" and have announced your engagement to family and friends. The next step is to decide what kind of wedding that you both want. Over half the weddings in the UK take place in local register offices and the rest are religious ceremonies of one kind or another.
. . . A few years ago changes in the law allowed couples to get married in all sorts of places (as in America), so now it's quite possible to actually have your wedding ceremony at the hotel where you intend to hold your reception. This can be looked upon as an advantage or indeed a disadvantage - the main advantage could be seen to be convenience, but the disadvantages shouldn’t be ignored either, it's unlikely that a hotel would have the old village church appeal in your wedding photographs, also there wouldn’t be any "car/carriage shots" in your wedding album, unless you made provisions for such pictures to be taken by your photographer. It will be interesting to see whether or not these new style weddings will prove to be popular.
. . . Most weddings take place on Saturday afternoons, this is very much the “peak period” in any week for getting married. If you wish to get married on a Saturday afternoon then you must really get everything booked as early as possible to avoid disappointment. It’s quite common to start booking all your wedding requirements about a year in advance.
. . . When setting the actual date for your wedding - think very carefully about the time of the year that would suit you best - springtime and summer weddings have the big advantage of all the trees and shrubs in full leaf - providing you with some lovely backgrounds for your wedding photographs. The weather is also much kinder to most couples at this time of year - although no-one has yet been able to guarantee good weather for any wedding, choosing a date between May and September puts the odds in your favour.
. . . Winter Weddings - If you're thinking of booking your wedding between October and March - then please don’t forget that it can get very dark, very early - trees and shrubs will be bare, the weather is less reliable and guests often get fed up waiting around in the cold for the photographs, so producing the very best photographs becomes more difficult. If you are serious about excellent photographs then I would recommend getting married in the warmer months. If however a winter wedding is what you want, then book your wedding as close to 11.30 am as possible, this will give your photographer the chance to use the best light of the day, because light levels tend to drop dramatically in the afternoons especially during November, December, January and February.
. . . An extremely good tip for couples is to get married on a Sunday - the advantages are enormous, usually most guests are able to attend without having to have time off work - there are less traffic or parking problems - booking reception venues is much easier, so you usually have the choice of anywhere you want - there’s less likelihood of there being another wedding at your church, so you won’t feel rushed by the sight of the next set of wedding guests arriving for the next wedding.
. . . If you’re in the position of being able to choose the church in which you would like to marry, then try to choose one that has a pleasant setting for your wedding photographs - and if this isn’t possible try to choose a reception venue that will provide this for you. If for any reason neither the church or reception venue are suitable for photography then most good photographers will offer to take you all to the local park to cover the photography. This should be planned well in advance of the wedding, so that transport can be arranged for all concerned - the last thing you want is for half the guests, or worse, bridesmaids etc.to get lost on their way to the local park.
. . . You’ll need to tot up how many guests you are going to invite, and make decisions about how many bridesmaids and pageboys etc. there are going to be. Who’s going to be the best man, who’ll be matron of honour etc.? Then after deciding all these things you should have a good idea of how big the reception venue has to be. If there are going to be a lot of guests, do check that the parking facilities will be adequate. Most couples will want to provide enough room to accommodate all their guests comfortably, whilst providing room for festivities such as dancing etc. Most hotels and indeed many other reception venues will be able to provide the necessary catering facilities, they usually work on a “cost per head basis”, and most will offer you a choice of buffet or full sit down meal catering. Of course you can hire a hall and do all the necessary catering yourselves - this usually works out cheaper and the food is often better (because you’re doing it to suit yourselves).You can choose all sorts of venues for your reception, a few ideas would include hotels, a village hall, a river trip on a boat, a marquee in the garden, even an ordinary house decorated with flowers and balloons will do - although space can then be a problem.
. . . It is customary to have a receiving line at the reception (though certainly not essential) where the bridal party greets all the incoming guests, the order in which they should stand - although not eminently important is generally as follows:
. . . Will you be providing a live band, an orchestra, or perhaps a disco to entertain your guests? Have you thought about bar facilities for everyone? It’s generally accepted these days, that guests use the bar facilities just as they would a bar in a public house and pay for their own refreshments. . . . Having fixed the date, decided on the guest list, booked the reception and sorted out the catering, you must then move on to other important arrangements. Transport, bridal wear, rings, cake, flowers, invitation stationery, photographer and video coverage, all need your immediate attention as does booking the honeymoon. If your wedding is taking place in a church, then you must both decide which hymns are to be sung and perhaps whether or not you want someone recite a few special words or poem to your guests. Do you want the church decorated with flowers? A good tip here is to find out whether there is another wedding at your church on that day. If there is, then perhaps you can contact organisers of that wedding, and come to some arrangement on the costs of the flowers to decorate the church. Both couples can benefit from such arrangements. Another point worth considering is church bells - if you would like to have church bells rung after your wedding, then make sure that they only last for only 3 or 4 minutes. They can be deafening if sounded for much longer, and you’ll find that everyone will be wanting to offer their congratulations, or chat to other members of the family that they may have not seen for years.
. . . Choosing a photographer to cover your wedding can be a daunting task. Sometimes a well meaning member of your family or even a guest who is quite good with a camera will offer to take your wedding photographs, perhaps as a wedding present. But beware, being quite handy with a camera is definitely NOT the same as being an experienced wedding photographer. Organising groups of people, often in difficult perhaps wet and murky conditions is something that only comes with experience. Even on a beautiful day, an experienced wedding photographer will produce a far superior set of wedding pictures than someone who is just handy with a camera. Each year there are hundreds of disappointed couples up and down the country, who have accepted the offer of a well meaning amateur, only to regret it bitterly after the wedding, when of course, it’s too late to do anything about it.
The Receiving Line.
1. The brides mum - followed by-
. . . The best man need not be in the receiving line at all - in fact he would be much better occupied by checking all other aspects of the reception and making sure nothing has been overlooked. However should you wish to include him in the receiving line, then he should stand between the groom and the chief bridesmaid. It is often customary to offer your guests an arrival drink after they have been greeted by everyone in the receiving line.
2. The brides father
3. The grooms mother
4. The grooms father
5. The bride herself
6. The groom
7. The chief bridesmaid
8. Followed by other attendants.
. . . . . this looks very interesting. Photography.
. . . The way to find an excellent experienced photographer is to listen to recommendations - perhaps from couples who have recently married. Check their photographs out for yourself. Remember, this is the only “real way” to make an assessment, if you've recently been to a wedding and saw for yourself, how the photography was carried out and then you liked the results - there's no question, go for it. If you want to see your wedding proofs whilst on your honeymoon in another country, then you need a photographer that is set up for "Internet Wedding Proofing" and Five Star Photography has been providing this service for some time now, usually your wedding proofs will be available for viewing online within hours of the reception finishing. You should be aware that some photographers use part time Saturday operators so that they can take on more work - so if you have been recommended to particular photographer, ask who will be actually taking your photographs and make sure that whoever turns up on the day is the same person that you have checked out. All sorts of things can happen at a wedding and experience is the only answer to many of the situations that can arise.
. . . Almost all the topics covered in the previous paragraph about photographers apply to videographers too, so choose him/her with the same care as you would for choosing the photographer. Ask to see samples of their work - do they offer full editing facilities, adding music and titling etc. If you have attended a wedding and seen a video being produced, and you like the finished result - then book that videographer. Don’t be put off, if a particular video man is not fully professional - if he’s good and experienced then use him, it will probably save you some money too.
. . . The best advice here, unless you already know exactly what you want, is to visit as many bridal shops and buy as many bridal magazines as possible, until you see something that really takes your eye. This way you will be certain to see something that is just right for you. You may choose to buy or hire a wedding gown, but either way never be satisfied with something that is “almost” right - you will want to enjoy your day to the full, and if something is even a little uncomfortable then get it sorted out before the big day, this advice applies to everyone - the bride, the groom, the best man, parents and all the bridal party. Sometimes a member of the family will offer to make the wedding dress and if they are proficient at dressmaking then this can save a lot of money. Another thing that should be given some thought, bridal gowns are not governed by current fashions - so this would be the perfect opportunity for you to wear something Victorian or Edwardian. When choosing shoes - remember that comfort is the most important priority for such a long day - style is one thing but comfort is the priority. If your feet hurt on your big day - then that’s the main thing that you’ll remember every time you look back on your wedding.
. . . It’s been a tradition for years, for the couple to have a special wedding cake at the reception, often with two or more tiers - each tier may be made of a different type of cake to satisfy the tastes of all your wedding guests. It’s also customary for the top tier of a three or four tier cake to be kept aside for the christening of the couples first child. If a member of the family has a flair for baking and icing cakes, then you’ll not be disappointed when the time comes to cut and eat it - however there are many professional bakers who will be only too willing to take on your order.
. . . If money is no object then you could arrange to have an “open” bar, this always goes down well with the guests - but it does give the green light to those few, that seem to lurk somewhere inside every family, that always take advantage and consume more than their share, just because you are paying, and anyway most of us simply can’t afford to offer that facility. However, it is expected that you supply the arrival drink (offering a non alcoholic substitute as well) and the sparkling wine for the toasting. A normal pay bar is quite sufficient these days. Many local pubs actually do outside bars - and some don’t even charge any extra for this service - so shop around. Some couples decide to get some friends in, to run the bar for them - if you intend to do this, then don’t forget the drinks licence, one will be required if money changes hands at the bar.
. . . Do you want a ring for each of you, or just one for the bride? If you want a pair of matching wedding rings, there’s plenty of choice these days. Visit your local jewellers and you’ll find a superb choice of both matching rings and brides wedding rings. One point worth mentioning, try to make sure that the brides wedding ring is the same carat as her engagement ring or they won’t wear well together. Its always a good idea to choose all the rings (engagement ring too) together as a couple - they can cost a lot of money and there’s nothing worse than buying something that your partner doesn’t like. You may like to have the rings engraved, say with the wedding date or the words “I love you” or some other short romantic note.
. . . There is certainly no shortage of choice when it comes to hiring transport to get you and your bride to the wedding - Rolls Royces, Bentleys, American limousines or you may prefer an open top horse drawn carriage (one with an optional hood in case the weather turns) there are usually hundreds of choices. If the groom is a fireman or bus driver then why not use a fire engine or bus to “get you to the church on time”. Remember it’s YOUR day and you must do what ever you want - personalise your wedding as much as you like.
. . . More choices to make - do you want fresh or silk flowers, silk can easily be kept as a keepsake over the coming years - although it is quite common these days to have fresh flowers pressed and dried after the wedding ceremony. These can then be mounted into a frame like a painting. Shop around is the best advice when looking for bargains - most florists will help with colour schemes to match bridesmaids dresses etc. Nowadays all good florists will decorate the church for you as well as make up the bouquets.
. . . Whether you have chosen a formal or informal approach to your wedding, you can be sure that there is a style of invitation or thank you card, to suit your requirements. Many of the large department stores have a fine selection of samples to choose from. If they can’t help you, then there are numerous small local printing firms, who will be pleased to produce exactly what you want.
. . . When booking your entertainment for the reception please bear in mind that your “audience” will usually be made up of many different age groups. This why a disco is often the final choice, because DJ’s are always aware of this - and a good one will of course, bring along all types of music to suit all tastes.
. . . If you decide, as many couples do, to go abroad for your honeymoon, then make sure that you have current passports, and don’t forget to check up and organise any injections that are necessary for your particular destination. It’s always worth getting plenty of travel insurance too. Don't forget that with Five Star Photography, you can now see your wedding proofs "online" from anywhere on the planet using the NEW Internet Proofing Service. When choosing where to go on your honeymoon, remember it’s not just an ordinary holiday, so try to pick a destination that allows you both to unwind from the pressures of the wedding day - somewhere that you can be “alone together” or join in with other group activities when you want. Of course not everyone goes overseas on their honeymoon, in fact booking somewhere in Britain often cuts out the long distance travelling after a hectic wedding - no need for insurance, passports or injections either. Most destinations both at home or abroad offer honeymoon suites, ensuring you of a luxurious start to your married life together. Travel agents or the Internet are your best bet for advice and choice on destinations suitable for honeymoon couples, both in this country and abroad.
. . . The long standing tradition that the brides family pays for nearly everything, has been changing for some time now. It’s very common for the grooms family to share some of the costs, and it is even more common for the bride and groom to foot much of the bill themselves. Bridesmaids used to pay only for their accessories, but nowadays they often buy their complete outfit, as does the best man. Traditionally the brides parents pay for the following: Press announcements - invitations and stationery - brides dress etc. - bridesmaids dresses - wedding cars - flowers - photographer fees - reception - cake and videographer fees. Traditionally the groom pays for the following: The rings - his clothes - marriage fees - his transport to the ceremony - the honeymoon and any thank you gifts for the bridesmaids and mums. As you can imagine, the total costs can, and probably will, run into thousands of pounds, but generally everyone realises this, and very often, offers of financial support come flooding in from various sectors of both families.
. . . Some brides and grooms feel awkward about compiling a wedding present list, but if you have ever been in the position of having to choose and buy a wedding present, then you will understand that it is very comforting to know that what you buy, will not be money wasted, if it's on the list, then it will surely be wanted and appreciated.
. . . Some couples like to have a wedding present display at the reception, and other couples prefer not to, knowing that a display can create a bit of a competition and may influence some people to spend more than they can afford.
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